Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Rating: 1.5/10

Thor is back! And so is Loki! And Jane Foster! And Odin! And those three friends of Thor’s who still don’t get any character development so no one cares about them! Oh, and Heimdal! Ugh, let’s just get to the review…

Well, my biggest problem with the first film was that it felt like it was two different movies hastily jammed together. But this one feels like I don’t even know how many different films thrown together haphazardly. I don’t even know how many, let’s count them:

  1. The Dark Elves are doing vaguely evil things for…reasons
  2. Jane is totally randomly infected with something called the Aether, which will eventually kill her
  3. Jane’s old boss Erik has lost his mind and Jane’s other friends, her intern and her intern’s intern, have to help him
  4. Loki’s in prison, until he isn’t anymore
  5. The Elves take over Asgard, which seems like it should be with #1, but after it happens it becomes a different movie again until it comes back to #1 anyway
  6. Thor has problem’s with his family
  7. Some weird romantic comedy thing?
  8. Something Something Something Infinity Stones…

Wow, that’s 8 movies in one! Okay, you might argue that some of these are merely “side plots” except that side plots are meant to compliment the main plot, first off, and when we’re watching them it’s not meant to feel like I’ve suddenly walked into another movie. Except this movie never stops feeling like that, like we’re constantly being pulled into a different movie with every scene change. There’s so many conflicts that not one single plot pulls out in front the others. Also, the comedy sucks, if you can even call it comedy...

Well, after all that, is there anything I like in the film? Well…not really. Some of the special effects were cool, but special effects don’t make a film. You can pretty up a turd as much as you like but it’s still a turd. Most of the people in the film are good actors, but they don’t do well here, maybe if this film had more characterization in general instead of trying to tell 8 different plots at the same time.

SCORING:

+0: I suppose if you were a film student, you could watch this movie to see why setting up characters is just as important as setting up plotlines. Also why you should stick to one plot at a time. I mean it, there’s so much they’re trying to throw in this movie by the end I felt like nothing actually happened

+1.5: I’m not sure it even deserves this much, but the visuals and action sequences, though it was hard to care about any of it, were at least fun to look at

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.